about Leah Taggart...
I’d love to tell you how I came to be a therapist, because I haven’t always been one. For a lot of years I worked with numbers and organising information, goods and people, while also being a house wife and mother to two wonderful human beings.
Back in 2014 however, I hit what I call my lowest point in life. My health had been declining – again! – and my food intolerances had increased so much that I was only eating meat. No vegetables, or cereals, or dairy, or soy. Just meat. And it’s not like I was super health conscious because I was drinking Coke Zero like it was going out of fashion. Only that or water. Everything in life felt like a big struggle. I was time poor and hating my every day going to work for a man who was ripping me off and had little boundaries when it came to a working relationship. And all the while my demanding husband seemingly sat at home doing virtually nothing to support me or our family. You could say I was pretty resentful…. And, if that wasn’t already enough to cope with, the new doctor a friend had “forced” me to go to had just run all these tests and told me I was dying – that one by one all my body systems were shutting down, and that it was all caused by stress. It was a pretty low point in life alright.
Yet I couldn’t recognise at the time that I was stressed. I flat out denied it. I told the doctor I was the most laid-back easy-going person I knew. But the doctor insisted and strongly suggested I leave my job AND get rid of all the men in my life who were sucking the life out of me, and to instead go and paint or do whatever would get me into my “happy place”. She recommended a few books too, there was one on adrenal fatigue and a few woo woo ones, and wrote me a referral to see a psychologist she knew. This was the first time I hadn’t been pushed pills or potions or sent off to a specialist or asked not to return or told, “Sorry, I just don’t know what is wrong with you.”
As much as I would have loved to leave my job right away, that wasn’t an option at the time. I had the sole responsibility of keeping a roof over our heads at home. But I backed off where I could – distancing myself from people and gave myself time to think and process the information.
The doctor was right. I realised that I WAS stressed and that I stressed over EVERY LITTLE THING, including stressing about people looking at me. And the slightest demand on my time set me off into a highly stressed state.
I took the doctor’s advice. I bought the books – and even read one of them. I saw the psychologist a few times… My husband was put on notice to pull his socks up, but still I was stuck in that same stressed place. Only now I had one more person telling me what to do and stressing me more.
I was time poor. There had to be something better and quicker out there to help me get through this. I tried EFT tapping for a while. It was helpful. It got me eating carbs again, only now I was binge eating meat pies, biscuits, and cakes. But I plucked up some courage and left my job and found a new one where I felt appreciated for the hard work and time I put in. It was definitely a move in the right direction.
Then I happened across hypnotherapy. I’m not talking regular old hypnosis because I’d tried that in the past for smoking with a doctor specialising in hypnosis and then two other hypnotists and not once out of the three times did it work for me. I really thought I was un-hypnotisable.
But this style of hypnotherapy I found gave me such incredible results. It helped me to find the root causes of what was going on in my life. I found out that not only were most of my issues caused by not feeling enough but I found out exactly which events in my past created these issues and beliefs in the first place. And I had been lugging these experiences around with me for the majority of my life, and collecting more and more evidence to stack on top of it.
To finally find out that a) all these current issues were created by this old baggage I was carrying around and b) what events from my past created all this baggage, I was finally able to be free. It was like ripping a big tree out by its roots – a great weight lifted off me. It was so freeing. Soon after I had the opportunity to sign up as a pioneer student to learn this miraculous rapid transformational therapy style of hypnotherapy. I jumped at the chance, not only to further help myself but to be able to help other women too who had struggled through life like I had, to help them feel the freedom that I had just found. To stop that people-pleasing behaviour and to be able to stand up and speak up for themselves like I now was.
Many of my issues began with my parent’s separation when I was 4 years old. I lost my favourite parent – my dad. And wound up feeling abandoned and rejected. And then my parents remarried causing further issues. I then lost my brother too when he went to live with our dad.
When I look back, most of what I can remember about my life was tip toeing around someone else’s feelings. It’s a feeling of having lived your life walking on egg shells, waiting for the next set of cracks to appear. There was so much anger in the people around me when I wasn’t doing what they wanted, and so much fear in me. I felt so constantly judged and not good enough that in turn, I constantly judged and criticised and hated on myself, daily. And I carried so much fear with me that I became scared of the most ridiculous things – I’m sure I’ll tell you about some of them some time.
But, parent’s divorce aside, what affected me equally as much was the belief that I could never be enough, or that I was second-rate, because I was a girl. I felt, through several childhood experiences, that boys were the preferred gender in my family. Boys got special privileges, boys got more freedom, boys got more love and attention. It seemed everywhere I turned, this belief was reaffirmed. Boys were better and worth more than me, a girl.
I can see how this belief shaped my life, and not for the better. I’m not one to give up easily so of course I strived to be more like a boy – not to look like one, because boys do like girls, but to do things as well as a boy could. To do masculine things to try and gain attention. To go out of my way to try and gain the approval of males.
Without finding the root causes of the belief that girls could never be as good as boys, I don’t think I could have ever changed this belief. It was well ingrained and holding strong. These days I am no longer embarrassed to wear the colour pink or to listen to music by female artists. There are women who I look up to (and not just because they can keep up with the boys) and I recognise and embrace my own feminine qualities. Rather than having to prove I can do it all, I can now relinquish control, and peacefully sit back and let others do the dirty jobs and heavy lifting for me, where in the past I would have needed to do it myself if only to prove I could.
Finding and learning hypnosis not only gave me the tools to deal with the baggage I’d accumulated from my past, but to learn how to treat myself better. To find and create what true strength is, to know where my real feelings of freedom must come from, and where and how to find the love I’ve craved since I was a little girl. That is what I want for all women – freedom, strength and love – AND to be able to take back the confidence to be their true selves.
Certified Hypnotherapist, Rapid Transformational Therapist and baggage handler Extraordinaire